Chapter 12 - The Conversation Without Judith
A settlement conference was scheduled.
Because of the domestic-violence history, Mara and Owen were not forced into informal face-to-face mediation.
Their attorneys remained present.
The guardian ad litem participated.
Mara agreed to speak directly only because she wanted one answer from Owen.
He looked exhausted.
“I know what the messages say.”
Mara said, “Then tell me what they mean.”
Owen rubbed his palms together.
“I thought you were going to leave.”
“You were preparing divorce papers.”
“Because we were miserable.”
“So you could leave me, but I couldn’t leave you?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
He looked toward his lawyer.
Then back at Mara.
“I thought you’d take him.”
Mara’s throat tightened.
“He’s my newborn baby.”
“He’s mine too.”
“I never said he wasn’t.”
“You said you’d go to Claire’s.”
“For space.”
“You always had somewhere to go. I didn’t.”
Mara stared at him.
“You had this house. Your mother. Your job. Your whole life.”
“I meant with him.”
There it was.
The fear beneath everything.
Owen had not primarily feared losing Mara.
He had feared becoming his father.
The parent outside the home.
The visitor.
The one who saw his child on somebody else’s schedule.
“So you decided to make me look unstable.”
“I thought you were struggling.”
“You told people I was struggling before I gave birth.”
Owen looked down.
Mara continued.
“And that morning?”
His jaw tightened.
“I wanted you to agree to go get evaluated.”
“You dragged me out of a bathroom.”
“I lost control.”
“You hit me.”
“Yes.”
“And when I hit you back?”
He closed his eyes.
“I thought it proved what I’d been saying.”
Mara felt something in her chest go cold.
“Even after you caused it?”
Owen did not answer.
That was the moment she knew their marriage was finished.
May you like
Not because he had been afraid.
Because he had needed her pain to become evidence against her.
