Chapter 12 - Mark Finally Heard What Ellie Was Saying
Their first full family therapy session happened six weeks after the fire.
Ellie sat farthest from Mark.
Noah sat beside Caroline.
The arrangement itself told the story.
The therapist asked each person what they feared most.
Noah answered first.
“Another fire.”
Caroline said, “Failing them again.”
Mark said, “Losing my family.”
Ellie looked at him.
“That.”
Mark frowned.
“What?”
“You said family.”
“Yes.”
“But you mean us leaving you.”
“I mean all of you.”
“You’re still making yourself the center.”
The therapist did not intervene.
Mark absorbed it.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked.
Ellie answered immediately.
“That something happens again and you decide I’m the one who can handle it.”
Caroline began to speak.
Ellie raised her hand.
“Please don’t tell me you’d never do it again.”
Caroline stopped.
“Because you already told yourself you’d never hurt me before the fire.”
Mark leaned forward.
“What would make you believe us?”
“Nothing you say.”
The answer hurt him.
“That doesn’t leave me much.”
“It leaves you everything you do.”
The therapist nodded.
Ellie continued.
“When Noah is scared, don’t automatically cancel my thing.”
Mark looked down.
“When I say I need help, don’t tell me I’m strong.”
Caroline wiped her eyes.
“When there are four people, buy four.”
Nobody needed to ask what she meant.
Noah suddenly spoke.
“I don’t want them to save me first.”
Ellie looked at him.
“You don’t have to fix it.”
“I know.”
He leaned against Caroline.
“I just don’t want being sick when I was little to keep hurting Ellie.”
Caroline pulled him close.
Then stopped herself.
She looked across at Ellie.
Not asking Ellie to come over.
Not forcing equality into a staged hug.
Simply noticing.
For once, that restraint felt like progress.
At the end of the session, Mark asked Ellie whether he could drive her back to Rebecca’s.
She said no.
His face fell.
Then she added, “Maybe next week.”
He nodded.
“Okay.”
No argument.
No guilt.
May you like
No reminder that he was her father.
Ellie noticed that too.
