Chapter 12 - What Diane Finally Admitted She Wanted
The confrontation happened in our counselor’s office.
Not my kitchen.
Not in front of Lily.
Diane agreed only because Mark told her he would not discuss future contact otherwise.
She arrived wearing pearls.
Perfect hair.
Calm voice.
The same woman who could say something vicious while sounding civilized.
She began by criticizing me.
“I think Claire mistakes anxiety for instinct.”
I almost answered.
The counselor stopped me.
“This session isn’t about diagnosing Claire.”
Diane looked annoyed.
Mark spoke next.
“You took Lily’s food.”
“She had already eaten.”
“You called her greedy.”
“She’s two. She doesn’t understand.”
I did answer that.
“She understood enough to hide against me.”
Diane’s face changed slightly.
Then Mark asked:
“Did you know I was lying to Claire about Wednesdays?”
Diane said nothing.
“Mom.”
“Yes.”
“Did you think that was okay?”
“I thought my granddaughter needed a relationship with her family.”
“She has family.”
“With me.”
There it was.
Diane did not want merely to love Lily.
She wanted guaranteed access.
The counselor asked why.
For several minutes Diane resisted.
Then she admitted that after Anna moved away, their relationship never recovered.
Anna sent Christmas cards.
Called occasionally.
Nothing more.
Diane believed Claire was turning Mark into Anna.
Then Lily came.
“A grandchild is supposed to be a second chance.”
I stared at her.
“For whom?”
Diane looked at Lily’s photograph on Mark’s phone.
“For me.”
I felt anger rise.
“My daughter is not your correction.”
Diane’s eyes filled.
“I know that sounds selfish.”
“It is selfish.”
Mark did not rescue her.
That was perhaps the most important moment of the session.
Diane looked at him.
“You're just going to let her talk to me like this?”
His answer was quiet.
“Yes.”
Her face hardened.
Then she revealed what she had actually feared since the first boundary.
“If Claire gets to decide when I see Lily, eventually Claire decides I don’t see her at all.”
I leaned forward.
“You made that more likely every time you ignored me.”
Diane looked down.
May you like
For once she had no argument.
She had been so terrified of losing access that she made herself unsafe to trust with it.
