Chapter 13 - THE THING I HAD TO ADMIT ABOUT MYSELFTherapy made me confront a less dramatic truth.
I liked being useful.
Too much.
When I entered the Mercer family, usefulness became my route to belonging.
Design the dinner.
Save the gala.
Remember Charles’s medication.
Fix Derek’s presentation.
Smooth Vivian’s insult.
Handle Christmas.
Make the room beautiful.
Keep everyone comfortable.
I told myself I was generous.
Sometimes I was.
Sometimes I was afraid that if I stopped providing value, people would realize I wasn’t really one of them.
That fear did not cause Derek’s fraud.
It did not make Vivian slap me.
It did not excuse anyone.
But it explained why I worked unpaid for years while telling myself family shouldn’t keep score.
The irony?
They were keeping score.
Just not in my favor.
I began invoicing properly.
Every event.
Every consultation.
Every foundation project.
If I donated work, the invoice showed market value and a documented donation.
No more invisible labor.
No more “family routing.”
No more vague reimbursement.
It felt cold at first.
May you like
Then freeing.
Love that cannot survive clarity is not improved by confusion.
