Chapter 14 - The Last Thing Ava Needed From Her Mother
Seven months after the affair was exposed, Natalie asked Ava for something she had avoided asking before.
Not forgiveness.
A chance to answer questions.
Ava agreed to one supervised afternoon.
They sat in the therapist’s office with a box of tissues between them.
Ava had written three questions on an index card.
The first:
“How long?”
Natalie answered.
Almost a year.
Ava looked sick.
The second:
“Did Dad know?”
“No.”
The third took longer.
“Were you going to leave without telling me?”
Natalie began crying.
“Yes.”
Ava stared at her.
“I was going to tell you before we moved.”
“When?”
Natalie looked down.
“After I knew the condo was ours.”
“So everybody else knew my life before me.”
That sentence broke whatever defense Natalie still carried.
Cole knew.
The realtor knew.
Financial professionals knew pieces.
Natalie knew.
Ava was the child whose bedroom would eventually be packed, yet she had been the last person entitled to the truth.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie whispered.
Ava shook her head.
“You keep saying that.”
“I know.”
“What changes because you’re sorry?”
Natalie did not answer immediately.
Then she said, “Nothing automatically.”
Ava looked at her.
Natalie continued.
“You don’t have to trust me because I feel bad.”
It was the first apology that did not contain a request.
After the session, Ava asked Ethan if she could skip the following visit.
“Yes.”
“Will Mom be mad?”
“Maybe.”
Ava looked worried.
“Does that mean I should go?”
“No.”
The answer seemed to settle something inside her.
That night she placed her white smartphone on the bedside table.
For months she had carried it everywhere inside the house.
Even to the bathroom.
Ethan noticed she left it behind when she went downstairs for water.
He said nothing.
Safety sometimes announced itself through what people finally stopped doing.
Before bed, Ava asked one more question.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you hate Mom?”
Ethan thought for a moment.
“No.”
Ava looked surprised.
“I hate what she did.”
“Is that different?”
“Yes.”
She seemed to consider that for herself.
Ethan hoped she would.
Because Ava deserved the freedom to build whatever relationship with Natalie eventually felt safe.
Not the relationship Ethan’s pain wanted.
May you like
Not the one Natalie’s guilt demanded.
Her own.
