Chapter 14 - The Last Time Vanessa Asked to Be Chosen
Our divorce mediation ended on a rainy Thursday in Bethesda.
We had spent hours discussing retirement accounts, house proceeds, furniture, taxes and insurance.
Nothing cinematic.
Just a marriage becoming columns.
Before we left, Vanessa asked to speak to me for five minutes.
Our attorneys remained nearby.
She looked exhausted.
“I’m moving to Chicago.”
That surprised me.
Her firm had offered her a transfer.
“When?”
“After the house closes.”
I nodded.
She twisted her wedding ring.
Then removed it.
“I kept thinking distance from Laura would make me feel chosen.”
I said nothing.
“But there was never a contest, was there?”
“No.”
“I made one.”
“Yes.”
Vanessa looked toward the conference-room door.
“Does Noah hate me?”
“I’m not answering for him.”
She nodded.
“And Emma?”
“I’m not answering for her either.”
A sad smile.
“Fair.”
Then she asked:
“Do you hate me?”
I thought carefully.
“No.”
That surprised both of us.
“What you did hurt my children. I don’t need to hate you to know I won’t be married to you anymore.”
Her eyes filled.
“I did love you.”
“I know.”
That was the tragedy.
Love had existed.
So had control.
One did not erase the other.
Before leaving, Vanessa handed me a small plastic bag.
Inside was something I recognized.
Laura’s silver locket.
I thought it had been lost years earlier.
My stomach tightened.
“Where did you get this?”
Vanessa looked ashamed.
“I put it in my jewelry box.”
“Why?”
“Emma wore it to dinner one night. Noah kept asking about Laura. I took it afterward.”
“How long have you had it?”
“Almost two years.”
Anger rose again.
Vanessa didn’t defend herself.
“I should have returned it sooner.”
“Yes.”
She nodded.
Then walked away.
I took the locket home.
Emma stared at it.
For several seconds she said nothing.
Then she took it from my hand.
“Where was it?”
“With Vanessa.”
Emma closed her fingers around it.
I waited for rage.
Instead she whispered:
“I knew I didn’t lose it.”
That sentence told me how much damage doubt had done.
May you like
Not just losing objects.
Being taught not to trust her own memory.
