Chapter 4 - The Days Linda Had Ellie Alone
Rachel asked Emma to meet her after work at a Panera near College Boulevard.
She arrived twelve minutes late, still wearing navy hospital scrubs beneath a winter coat even though it was June. Rachel was an ultrasound technician at an outpatient clinic and usually talked with her hands.
That afternoon, she kept them wrapped around an untouched iced tea.
“I don’t want to be in the middle of your marriage.”
“You’re already in the middle.”
“I didn’t put myself there.”
“Neither did Ellie.”
Rachel looked down.
That landed.
Emma slid a printout across the table.
Carla had emailed the daycare log.
Linda had picked Ellie up eleven times in four months.
Emma had known about two.
“Do you recognize any of these dates?”
Rachel scanned them.
Her eyebrows moved.
“March eighth.”
“What?”
“Mom brought Ellie to my house.”
Emma stared at her.
“For what?”
“My birthday dinner.”
Emma remembered that night.
Ben had told her Ellie was tired and he had taken her home early.
Emma had stayed at a client event downtown.
“Was Ben there?”
Rachel shook her head.
“Mom said you guys were trying to give Ellie more time with family.”
Emma leaned back.
Every explanation she had been given now seemed to have another explanation underneath it.
“What did Linda say about me?”
Rachel’s mouth tightened.
“Mostly that you were overwhelmed.”
“What does that mean?”
“She said you were stressed. Controlling. That you got angry when people questioned your parenting.”
“Did she call it episodes?”
Rachel looked at her.
“Sometimes.”
Emma swallowed.
“Did Ben?”
Rachel did not answer quickly enough.
“Rachel.”
“He was worried.”
“About what?”
“You talked about Denver.”
Emma stopped.
Six weeks earlier, Emma had interviewed for a senior project-management position with an architecture firm in Denver. She had told Megan.
And Rachel.
She had not told Ben yet because there was no offer, and because every time Emma raised the possibility of expanding her career, Ben somehow turned the conversation into Linda losing access to Ellie.
“I had one interview.”
“Mom thought you were going to take Ellie and leave.”
“Your mother thought that, or Ben did?”
“Both.”
Emma looked out the window at the parking lot.
A woman was buckling a toddler into a minivan while holding a paper bag between her teeth.
Ordinary life.
Emma wanted it so badly her chest hurt.
Rachel rubbed the condensation from her cup.
“There’s something else.”
Emma looked back.
“Mom keeps a notebook.”
“What kind of notebook?”
“I don’t know. She calls it Ellie’s routine book.”
Emma almost dismissed it.
Linda documented everything. Holiday menus. Blood pressure readings. Coupons.
Then Rachel added, “There are dates in it.”
Emma said nothing.
“Times you were late to pickup. Times Ellie had diaper rash. That Thanksgiving fight. That day you yelled at Mom because she gave Ellie soda.”
Emma felt heat rise behind her ribs.
“She was keeping notes about me?”
“I thought she was being obsessive.”
“Why?”
Rachel shifted in her chair.
“Ben said it was better to have a record if things got worse.”
There it was again.
Record.
Proof.
Accident.
Episodes.
“What things?”
“I don’t know, Emma.”
“You do know something.”
Rachel’s eyes filled.
“I know Ben was scared you’d move.”
Emma leaned forward.
“So he let your mother monitor me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“He gave her unrestricted daycare pickup. She came into our home when I wasn’t there. She kept notes on my parenting.”
“Emma—”
“And yesterday, after she threw coffee on Ellie, Ben tried to get the phone out of my hand.”
Rachel stared at the table.
Emma lowered her voice.
“Did they talk about custody?”
Rachel’s head came up.
Too fast.
Emma had her answer before Rachel spoke.
“Mom asked me once,” Rachel whispered, “whether a parent could lose custody for being emotionally unstable.”
Emma’s fingers curled under the table.
“What did you say?”
“I told her I didn’t know.”
“When?”
“About a month ago.”
Before the coffee.
Before the report.
Before Emma had any idea there was a case being quietly imagined against her.
Rachel wiped beneath one eye.
“I swear to you, I thought Mom was catastrophizing.”
Emma stood.
“Did Ben know she asked you that?”
Rachel didn’t respond.
Emma picked up her purse.
“Rachel.”
“Yes.”
Emma nodded once.
Not because she understood.
May you like
Because she finally knew what she needed to do next.
She was done confronting people before she knew what they had already decided about her.
