Chapter 12 - THE CONVERSATION WITHOUT A BABY TO HIDE BEHIND
The confrontation took place in a counselor’s office.
Rachel refused Diane’s house.
Diane refused Rachel’s.
Neutral ground was the only possibility.
Rachel came with Caleb.
Lauren came because Diane requested her.
Diane arrived ten minutes early.
She looked composed.
No purse clutched to her chest.
No shouting.
That almost made the supermarket feel unreal.
The counselor began with one rule.
“No one gets to describe another person’s motive until they have described their own behavior.”
Diane hated the rule immediately.
Rachel could tell.
Caleb went first.
“I knew Mom was returning some baby items and didn’t tell Rachel.”
Diane interrupted.
“Because you knew she was overspending.”
The counselor raised a hand.
“Your turn will come.”
Diane went rigid.
Caleb continued.
“I kept trying to avoid a blowup instead of stopping the behavior.”
Rachel spoke next.
“I saw warning signs and accepted explanations because I needed help and didn’t want conflict late in pregnancy.”
Lauren admitted she helped Diane make two returns and believed the story that Rachel was buying without Caleb’s consent.
Then Diane’s turn came.
She folded her hands.
“I returned unnecessary items.”
Rachel waited.
The counselor asked, “Without Rachel’s permission?”
Diane looked at the floor.
“Yes.”
“Did you use some credits to purchase items for your home?”
“Yes.”
“Did you maintain records of Rachel’s spending?”
“Yes.”
“Did Rachel ask you to?”
“No.”
“Did Caleb?”
Diane hesitated.
“No.”
Rachel felt Caleb move beside her.
The counselor continued.
“Why?”
Diane’s face hardened.
“Because somebody had to pay attention.”
“To what?”
“To what happens after the baby comes.”
Rachel leaned forward.
“What did you think would happen?”
Diane finally looked at her.
“You’d be exhausted.”
“Everyone is exhausted.”
“You’d want control over everything.”
“It’s my baby.”
Diane flinched.
Rachel saw it.
Not the words.
The ownership inside them.
Diane said, “I know what newborns do to people.”
“No,” Rachel answered. “You know what being needed did for you.”
Diane’s eyes filled.
For the first time, she spoke about Michael.
During his illness, she had become his scheduler, nurse, financial manager, advocate, driver, cook.
When he died, everyone praised her strength.
Then they went home.
Caleb married.
Lauren moved.
No one needed Diane at 2 a.m. anymore.
“I disappeared,” she whispered.
Caleb looked at her.
“Mom.”
“No. You don’t understand.”
She looked at Rachel.
“Then you got pregnant and suddenly there was going to be somebody again.”
There it was.
Not money.
Not hatred of a blanket.
Fear of irrelevance.
Rachel could understand it.
She could not excuse what it became.
“You made me look unstable so you could feel necessary.”
Diane cried.
“I thought you would need me eventually.”
“Then why not wait for me to ask?”
Diane did not answer.
Because being asked and making yourself indispensable were not the same thing.
May you like
One was love.
The other was control.
