Chapter 5 - GRANDMA’S VERSION
Daniel asked Judith to meet him at a coffee shop.
She almost refused.
Then said:
“I assume this is about Mason.”
“It’s about all five.”
Judith stirred cream into coffee she never drank.
Daniel placed no accusation on the table.
He asked questions.
“What happened June ninth?”
Her eyes narrowed.
“The window?”
“Yes.”
“Mason threw a baseball.”
“Did you see him?”
“No.”
“Who did?”
“Ellie said he did.”
“Did Mason admit it?”
Judith nodded.
“Yes.”
“What about Nora being pushed?”
“I saw that.”
“What did you see?”
“Nora fell. Mason was behind her.”
“That’s different from seeing him push her.”
Judith’s expression hardened.
“You weren’t there.”
“You’re right.”
He backed off.
For a moment they sat in silence.
Then Judith surprised him.
“I wanted them.”
Daniel believed her.
“I know.”
“I bought bunk beds.”
She began listing preparations as if defending herself before a jury.
Car seats.
Childproof locks.
A bigger dining table.
A secondhand crib.
“I am sixty-three years old,” she said. “I thought love would give me another twenty years of energy.”
Her eyes filled.
“It didn’t.”
Daniel waited.
Judith whispered:
“The babies cried all night. Nora screamed if I closed a door. Ellie followed me to the bathroom. And Mason…”
She stopped.
“What about Mason?”
“He never let me help.”
“Maybe he was scared.”
“I was scared too.”
There was no villain in that sentence.
Only exhaustion.
Judith rubbed her forehead.
“The caseworker told me separate placements might be better.”
“Who suggested Mason go alone?”
She looked at Daniel.
“I did.”
He had not expected the honesty.
“Why?”
“Because the younger four calm down when he isn’t controlling everything.”
“Does he hurt them?”
Judith hesitated.
“He frightens them sometimes.”
“How?”
“He tells them adults leave. He tells them not to unpack. He hides food. He sleeps by doors. He tells Ellie she has to take care of Sophie.”
Daniel thought of Ellie making bottles.
Judith continued.
“He’s making them afraid.”
Or, Daniel thought, repeating what fear had taught him.
Judith looked down.
“I told him he was making everything harder.”
Daniel’s attention sharpened.
“Exactly what did you say?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Try.”
She closed her eyes.
“I said if he couldn’t behave, nobody would take five children together.”
Daniel felt something shift.
“Did Mason hear that separate homes were available for the younger four?”
Judith’s face changed.
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I was on the phone.”
“So he knows there are families waiting for them without him.”
Judith stopped stirring.
Daniel finally understood why Mason kept saying:
Take me first.
May you like
The boy did not simply fear separation.
He had begun calculating it.
