CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 5
Urgent care was crowded, bright, and full of tired parents holding tired children.
Lauren sat beside me with Noah across both our laps. For the first time all night, she did not have to hold him alone.
The doctor confirmed a stubborn viral infection, mild dehydration, and an ear infection that had likely made the fever worse.
Nothing life-threatening.
But enough to make a two-year-old miserable.
Enough that no exhausted mother should have been cooking alone while two adults watched.
When the doctor asked how long Noah had been sick, Lauren answered quietly.
“Since Tuesday night.”
The doctor looked at me.
I felt the shame of it settle over my shoulders.
“I was out of town for work,” I said. “I didn’t know how bad it was.”
Lauren’s hand tightened around Noah’s blanket.
“She texted me,” I added.
Because that was the truth.
She had texted.
Fever is still up.
He won’t sleep unless I hold him.
Your mom says I’m overreacting.
I had replied between meetings.
Keep me posted.
I hate those three words now.
They sounded responsible at the time.
They were nothing.
After Noah got medicine and fluids, he fell asleep against my chest in the parking lot.
Lauren stood beside the car, staring at the closed urgent care doors.
“I really tried,” she said.
I turned toward her.
“I know.”
Her face crumpled.
“I kept thinking if I asked for too much help, your mom would tell you I couldn’t handle being a mother.”
I closed my eyes.
Because I could hear Patricia saying it.
Worse, I could hear myself not defending Lauren fast enough.
I reached for her hand.
“You should never have had to prove you could suffer quietly.”
She cried then.
Not loudly.
May you like
Not dramatically.
Just the kind of crying that comes when someone finally stops carrying the whole house alone.
