Chapter 5 - THE THING ELAINE CALLED HELPING
Elaine asked to meet.
Rachel refused to bring Rosie.
They sat in a quiet corner of a Panera near Route 59 while rain streaked the windows.
Elaine looked older than she had three days earlier.
Rachel did not offer comfort.
“What did Natalie give her?”
Elaine rubbed her thumb against the cardboard sleeve around her coffee.
“Benadryl.”
“And?”
“I don’t know exactly what Natalie did after that.”
Rachel leaned back.
“That’s not an answer.”
Elaine looked around as if someone might overhear.
“I gave her the bottle.”
Rachel stopped.
“The clonazepam?”
Elaine nodded.
“Why?”
“Natalie was overwhelmed. Rosie had been screaming for almost twenty minutes. Chloe was crying because everyone was watching Rosie instead of her. Natalie said the party was falling apart.”
Rachel stared at her mother.
“So you handed her prescription medication for my two-year-old?”
“No. I handed Natalie my bottle.”
“What did you think she was going to do with it?”
Elaine’s eyes filled.
Rachel waited.
Finally Elaine said, “I told her not to give too much.”
The words landed with terrible simplicity.
Rachel pushed her chair back slightly.
“Too much?”
“Rachel—”
“You knew she was going to give my child your medication.”
“I thought it would settle her.”
“She’s two.”
“I know.”
“You keep saying that as if knowing makes this better.”
Elaine lowered her face.
Then came the second betrayal.
“I’ve used Benadryl with Rosie before.”
Rachel stopped breathing normally.
“When?”
“Only when she wouldn’t sleep.”
“How many times?”
“I don’t know.”
“How many?”
“Three. Maybe four.”
Rachel remembered April.
January.
The long sleep after Thanksgiving weekend.
“You gave her medicine without telling me?”
“It was children’s allergy medicine.”
“She doesn’t have allergies.”
“It makes children sleepy.”
Rachel heard the sentence and understood that Elaine still believed explanation could reduce responsibility.
“Did you ever give her your prescription before Saturday?”
Elaine looked up quickly.
“No.”
Rachel studied her.
“You hesitated.”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”
“I don’t.”
Elaine began crying.
Rachel did not.
For years, Elaine had criticized Rachel for being too structured with Rosie.
Too many nap schedules.
Too cautious with food.
Too unwilling to let relatives “just handle her.”
Rachel thought her mother was old-fashioned.
She had never imagined Elaine was medicating her granddaughter to make childcare easier.
“Why didn’t you tell the paramedics?”
Elaine’s face tightened.
“Natalie begged me.”
“She attacked me.”
“I know.”
“She stopped me from calling 911.”
“I know.”
“She hid Rosie upstairs.”
“I didn’t know she was going to do that.”
Rachel leaned closer.
“But you knew Rosie had been given something.”
Elaine whispered, “Yes.”
“And you let me search that house.”
Elaine had no defense.
That was the hidden truth Rachel had not been prepared for.
Natalie had made the cruel decision.
But Elaine had supplied the logic that made it possible:
A difficult child could be chemically quieted.
May you like
And as Rachel walked out into the rain, one question followed her to the car.
If Elaine had admitted to Benadryl only after being cornered, what exactly had she still not admitted about the clonazepam?
